Monday, 2 February 2009

Bar humour of note

At the request of Angelika Torrie, EBMA board member, we publish the following, which was sent today to the IBMA-L list by Lisa Jacobi of the US band Steel String Session, who have EBMA membership:

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says: 'I'm sorry, but we don't serve minors.' So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying: 'Excuse me. I'll just be a second.' Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says: 'Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight.'

E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: 'You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.' Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually, C sobers up and realises in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental. The judge rules that all contrary motions are bassless.